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My Journey.
Submitted by: Kourtney M.
Morris county, NJMy names Kourtney and I enjoy art, music, working out, animals and nature.
My story began many years ago, but the real story started the day I realized I couldn’t continue living my life the way I was. I suffered with extreme anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. I went months and months isolating myself in my room and letting my sorrow take over me. I could barely socialize but when I did, I was not even there. My anxiety, depression and terrible thoughts consumed my mind. I had many reasons to feel sad for myself. I lost a lot of important people that I really counted on and was let down too many times. I was constantly thinking about how worthless I was and that I had no reason to be living on this earth. But then one day I decided I couldn’t take this pain anymore. That was when the next chapter of my life began.
I placed myself in a psychiatric hospital for about a week and then I also did an outpatient program. It was depressing and terrible at first but then I finally let my walls down. I got to listen to all of these beautiful, but broken people tell their stories and it opened my eyes that I don’t have it half as bad as many of the people I met. When I finally graduated my outpatient program I felt like I could conquer anything that was put in my way. Then maybe a month or two went by and once again the sadness crept its way back in.
I would always vent to my best friend about my feelings and one day she decided to tell me about The Secret. I must have watched it over 5 times, but all I can say is The Secret helped me in ways I never knew were possible. I learned to love myself, be happy and appreciate all that I have. This took time, but in the end it was worth every single second. I still have my bad days, but I now have learned to not dwell and give into my anxiety, depression and negative thoughts like I used to. If I ever feel those emotions I will watch The Secret or even look up all the inspirational quotes. I highly recommend anyone suffering with absolutely anything to watch The Secret and really take it all in. The Secret has forever changed my life and for that I am so grateful for every single part of my journey. I am so happy to be alive and most importantly, I am happy to finally love myself.