I had forced myself into a very expensive private college and it was in a big city and far away from my troubles at home. I had left on a bad note with my family and convinced myself that this move was just what I needed. I had many feelings of anxiety and confusion but I ignored my gut and went ahead. That one year of college brought me many trials and heart ache, I was away from the ones I loved, I was selfishly investing in a field I honestly didn’t care for. I put myself in a situation to make others happy for me, jealous of me, and my heart was in the wrong place, both physically and emotionally.

Finally the day came where I had a class presentation and as I stood in front of the class and gave, what had to be the worst speech in the history of the school, I shook and had the fear of fainting and embarrassing myself the entire time. Once I was done I could feel the embarrassment and I told myself, no more will I let my anxiety get to me.

For years I let my anxiety about others tell I had to go to college, or else I wouldn’t fit in. I had to have a boyfriend in order to feel beautiful. I had to be a size zero in order to be considered beautiful or sexy. That day was a huge moment in my life and I realized I had to fix this horrible anxiety before it continued taking over my life.

So my mother had set up an appointment with a doctor, the whole time I was there I imagined myself getting healthier, ridding myself of depression, anxiety, and weight I had gained from years of self loathing.

The doctor prescribed medication for me. It was my first time ever being prescribed anything, but I thought to myself, this will make me better, it will give me back what I have lost, and I will be happy again.

Only about 2 weeks later, I had been surprised with a vacation to Florida by my sister, it was a great time. The night before we left for the vacation I told my sister and everyone in the room, on this trip I will find the love of my life, my soul mate. I described him and once the trip started I soon forgot about this guy I had created in my mind. 2 days before the trip was over, I went to a bar with my sister, it seemed a bit boring so we left and wasn’t planning on returning back. Somehow things changed and we ended back up in the bar, and there I met him. My dream guy, everything I ever imagined and more. We kissed the 1st night the next day he told me he had to see me again. Since I had no job I wondered how and when I would be reunited with my soul mate but magically he surprised me with a plane ticket and here I am. Back with the love of my life, on cloud nine. And it all started by believing in my self. I know this is the guy I will marry someday, and I know he knows it too. Every coincidence we notice and always makes us smile because we know that we are supposed to be together. He expresses his love for me everyday, and I do as well. Thank you God for bringing me and my soul mate together, I am so in love!! And I know this relationship will last forever.

I have also lost 40 pounds and got down to my goal weight of 120! I stopped pushing myself through college and now work at a high paying company that I love and I enjoy everyday of work. I am so happy. My fiancé and I have just bought our 1st apartment together, and we continue to thank God and The Secret everyday!!! Thank you so much!