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The First Step Toward Healing
Submitted by: Jessica
Fort Worth, TexasI'm waking up to see the sun, it's a light that lets me know a new day's begun. I can leave behind the terrors of my unconscious mind to the sunshine.
This story is not like the others, I’m sharing this story because I’d like it to inspire you all in a different way.
Our lives are nothing but the projected images of the thoughts we hold in our heads. Sound crazy? Well the truth can seem crazy, when we’ve clutched to lies so long and so desperately. This applies to everything.
Once I met a boy, at once I fell in love. Head over heels, as it is in human nature to do. For a little while I lived my bliss, for a little while he did too. But soon enough, fears started to creep up in the back of my mind. I had such a wonderful thing, and naturally I feared losing it. But that’s exactly what ended up happening. Guess what? It was my fault, wholly and completely.
I allowed my fears to become real, I allowed them to manifest right into my beautiful reality. Even when things may have been saved still, I kept believing in these lies, as they appeared in my life more and more I believed in them more deeply. I let myself believe he didn’t love me at all anymore, that I was nothing more than another passing fancy. Even against his denials, even when he told me that he still loved me, I allowed my fears to consume me wholly.
After many many tears and many months of pain and slow recovery, one day I was finally lead to the truth. It was all inside my head. Well, it may have been inside my head, but the mind is a very powerful thing. I effectively destroyed a wonderful relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to heal. That doesn’t mean it’s too late to ask forgiveness, for it would be selfish of me to think I was the only one who suffered.
So where are we now? Well, however far apart Japan is from Texas. I’m sorry I don’t have a happy ending to give you, but then, this story hasn’t really ended yet.
What I hope to do now is to save myself from lies. I hope to save the world from lies. We are so deeply wrapped up in lies we cannot see the beautiful world in front of us. For you see, we, and we alone, choose our own realities. Be it intentional or unintentional. That is the so-called higher power, it is us. It us our subconscious mind, our unconscious mind. It is our fears and our hopes.
Don’t let yourself get you down.