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MySpace Angel
Submitted by: Julia Gilfoyle
Pittsburgh, PAI am a 44 year old Mother of 3 beautiful children. My interests include music, karaoke, travel, the outdoors, and surrounding myself with good people.
I was at a place in my life where I felt confused, lost, and full of despair. I felt as if everything was spinning out of control and I just didn’t feel at peace. I knew I wanted things to be different but I didn’t know how to go about making that happen for myself…I felt completely paralyzed.
One day, I was surfing profiles on MySpace and I came across one that caught my attention. This man had a profile with pictures of his work. I started to read his ‘About Me’ section and it was the most interesting thing I had read in a long time. He had several businesses and talked about how he had a love for photography since he was a child. He had pictures of his photography work all over his page and his work was AMAZING! He is an event photographer in Las Vegas, which struck me because I had lived there as a child myself. I had very bad memories of my life back then growing up in a home with an alcoholic Father. I decided to send this man a message complimenting his work and telling him I would be interested in having a conversation on some type of instant messenger sometime. He responded.
When I got his response, I was amazed at how nice he was….he was hesitant at first to talk on a messenger with me as he was very busy. He did thank me for my interest and compliments and eventually gave me his Yahoo ID.
The first few times we had a conversation, I felt myself fumbling with words and feeling clumsy. This man seemed rather structured and not into idle chatter or small talk. I had a difficult time but was drawn in immediately. He had nothing but interesting things to say and I always felt like it was a learning session. Sometimes this frustrated me. He was never rude or disrespectful, but somehow I would feel as if I was being analyzed and judged and often times I would go away frustrated and offended. I didn’t know why I felt this way and I always went back for more. Eventually, I told him some things about myself and my life and he said I was attracting everything that was happening to me. This made me angry. I felt as if he was telling me that all the bad things in my life were deserved, and I didn’t think I deserved them. I wasn’t listening to what he was saying and I was perceiving what he said as negative judgement against me. This is the way I viewed everything in my life at the time, but I wasn’t aware, and became bitter. He began to tell me about ‘The Secret’. He suggested I go out and buy the DVD and watch it….and he said until I did, not to come back. I was skeptical and didn’t like being told there would be conditions to us speaking to one another… but I ordered the DVD immediately and waited anxiously for it to arrive in the mail. Once it came, I opened it and put it in my DVD player, thinking if it didn’t hold my interest within the first 20 minutes, that I would turn it off and never watch it again. I thought the things he told me about this DVD were far fetched and just ridiculous…. if it was so easy to change my life and be happy and have the things I desired, why didn’t I have them already?
When I started to watch the DVD, I felt immediately relaxed and calm. I even got tears in my eyes throughout, and when it was finished and I got up, I felt elated and euphoric. I didn’t understand why but it gave me hope.
I couldn’t wait to get online and message Jeremy to tell him I had watched the DVD and how excited I was. He continued to advise me on things whenever I would come to him for advice, and I thought I was headed in the right direction. I mean….I did what he told me to…I bought ‘The Secret’ and watched it and I felt more positive. But when we’d talk, I would still get defiant and resistent and upset at the things he would say to me. Why was I taking his comments so seriously and continuing to speak to this man? He never messaged ME first….I was always the one to initiate our conversations. He was never critical and he didn’t offer unwanted advice…I always ASKED for it. So why then, was I constantly going back for more and getting so upset? Then it dawned on me…. He was being completely HONEST with me….giving me doses of harsh realities that I didn’t like….not telling me what I wanted to hear like most people in my life. Then it clicked. I could change my life and make it better but I had to start admitting my mistakes and stop repeating the things that were bringing negativity into my life.
Jeremy made many suggestions to me about how to go about doing this for myself. He always listened and sometimes became frustrated with me and would tell me he was finished talking if I became reisistent. I didn’t like it when he did that but I understood more and more why and I started to go away less upset each time.
I didn’t understand why this man would bother talking to me….he had many businesses to run and was very busy with his photography all the time….but he always took the time to talk to me and explain things until I understood what I was doing and how it was affecting me. Many times it would take a while, but he always gave me his time. I always wondered why he would bother to waste his time on a person who continuously came to him always whining about this or that and being so dramatic. I would ask him this often and he would say ‘Why does it matter?’ This astounded me. Why would he even care or take the time to bother with someone like me? Why would he even WANT to help me? Why would he want to waste his time on ME?
I now see that I’ve gone through most of my life feeling as if I was insignificant, not worthy of people’s time or efforts, a bother and a nuisance. But I’m not any of those things unless I believe it to be so.
I am slowly beginning to apply the things Jeremy has told me, and so many good things have happened. I was afraid to just take chances and believe in myself and good things, but I found myself wanting to test this stuff out, and I started small. When the universe responded, I told myself it was just a coincidence many times….until I started realizing that I was really able to attract these things. It was easier to believe I was attracting the bad things because I was in such a negative mindset and it was how I was conditioned all of my life. Being positive seemed like too much work and there was too much chance of failure which would lead to disappointment, and I didn’t want to face that.
I am now applying these things I’ve learned from Jeremy and ‘The Secret’ to my daily life. I was in a dead-end job that I hated for over a year and just walked in one day and turned in my notice. I didn’t think about it, I just DID IT and now opportunities are just being presented to me! I am starting my own business and I am so excited!
I wasn’t looking for a stranger on the internet to talk to when I came across Jeremy. Somehow I attracted him into my life and we have developed a friendship. I appreciate everything he has ever said to me…even the things that I went away irritated and angry over. I now see that my perceptions of his brutal honesty were MINE, and I didn’t have to like them, but ignoring the truth was only keeping me from making the positive changes I needed to make to be happy. I watch ‘The Secret’ all the time now. It helps remind me to stay on the right course and gives me the tools I need to be back in the driver’s seat of my own life.
Thank you Jeremy….I believe you are my Angel and if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have found out about ‘The Secret’ as soon as I did. I wish you all of the best in your business ventures and much success always! I meant what I said about coming to Vegas someday. *wink*